Happy Birthday Mabel!

Mabel turned 4 on September 11th.  She has become such a big girl that it amazes me every day.  Her eyes tell the most amazing stories and she makes more facial expressions in 5 minute than most people do in a day.

We hosted a birthday party a couple of days before her birthday (the day before I realized that in three weeks time I had a baby, sent my oldest to kindergarten and then threw a birthday party - welcome to three kids!!).  This year she wanted a "ballerina" party, so we were sure to have lots of tutus and fun!  Since she began dance last year she is obsessed with dancing and ballet.  In any given day she will do leaps, spins, plies and arabesque.

At her ballet recital in June

Ballerina Sisters

Ballerina cake

She is an amazing helper whether getting diapers for me, helping papa make the grocery list and cook or even clean the house.  She loves telling stories and gets so animated.  I could sit with her all day long and just listen to her.  I have so enjoyed building that mother/daughter bond with her, shopping, baking, doing nails and talking ballet.  She has a special place with her papa, with love of cooking and father/daughter dances around the house.  Mabel - you are such a special little girl, with so much sparkle and life.  I can't wait to see you continue to grow!!

Time For Kindergarten

The month of August was full of anticipation and not just because we were waiting for baby Violet.  We were also very excited for Louis to start kindergarten.  He was so excited and couldn't wait, and we knew he was more than ready for the academic part of school.  I was a little nervous about the social aspect, as Louis has always been more on the shy side, and would many times rather play by himself than meet new people.

The week after Violet was born, we had a welcome night where Louis got to meet his teacher and find his classroom.  I could tell he was a little nervous but I was even more so.  I was so worried he would get lost from the bus to the classroom and that he would be too shy to ask for help.  I felt a little crazy but I will blame it on the post-natal hormones!!  Brad and I were both amazed at how quickly the time went and that we were entering a new part of our lives - children in school!  That meant a new type of responsibility for us as well.

Louis and Papa

Louis with his preschool teacher "Miss Christina" walking to the bus stop

Papa, Louis, Mommy and Violet

To be honest, I cried the night before.  Again, I will blame it on the hormones ;-) but I was so nervous about him being shy, or being made fun of.  He is such a gentle soul and I would be crushed if his feelings were hurt (I think I have more toughening up to do than he does!!).  However, the first day of school was great!  Louis was so excited to put on his uniform.  He still goes to Little Learners for before and after care, so after pictures, we dropped both Louis and Mabel off at daycare/preschool.  Brad and I went to get coffee and came back to watch him get on the bus.  The bus of course was late, which made me nervous...but not Lou.  He was so calm.  When his bus pulled up (bus "KA") he walked right up to it (nearly forgot his backpack) and didn't look back until he got into his seat.  He was  so confident and proud that it was impossible to cry.  The day went great, he found his room on his own, was disappointed he didn't get homework or start math, and found the bus easily to get back to daycare.  Three weeks in, he is loving it - even though "the days are really long, Mom".  He loves all the reading, the lunches, and is making new friends.  He has adjusted wonderfully - now I just need to figure out how to stay organized with it all!

Welcome Violet!

On August 21, 2012 the Budde family welcomed Violet Evelyn Budde to the family.  Louis and Mabel were so excited to meet their new sister.  We did not know the gender of the baby, so since February they have been guessing whether it would be a boy or a girl.  We had weekly talks about how big the baby was and how many more days until the baby would be coming.  I remember how excited we all were when we got under 100 days, and how anxious everyone got as we got closer and closer, eventually knowing the baby could come at any moment.

6 hours before being induced (41 weeks)

So we waited..and waited.  We were due on August 14th but baby Violet had other plans.  I tried to stay calm, knowing that being inside of me was the best place for baby.  I physically felt wonderful for being 40 weeks pregnant in mid-August, but mentally it was taking a toll.  Finally on August 20th, we decided to induce that evening.  The labor and delivery were wonderful and I was so excited when I was able to lift our new baby into my arms.  Per our tradition, Brad had the responsibility to tell me the gender by announcing the baby's name.  There were lots of tears when he announced, "It is baby Violet!". She cried the sweetest cry and cuddled very close to me.  She was extra "cheesy" and looked so tiny!  Later, while Brad held her, she responded to my voice - as if to say, "hey, that sounds familiar".

I am so excited and fortunate to be able to spend the next 12 weeks with her before returning to work.  Already we have become cuddle buddies and enjoy all of our moments together - no matter what time of day (or night!).

Where the Wild Things Are...

Happy Birthday Mabel!

Mabel turned 3 on September 11^th.  We celebrated with a “Purplicious” party on September 10^th and were joined by family and a few friends.  Given the events that had occurred the previous week, it was actually a wonderful time to bring people together to celebrate our little treasures.  There was a lot of purple and Mabel loved her birthday cake.  As is becoming our tradition, we ended the day with an outdoor movie night on the driveway.  This year we watched, Tangled.  In case you haven't noticed, Rapunzel, also wears a purple dress!

 Mabel, at three years old you run the world…or at least our household.  You are the funniest little person with more facial expressions than anyone I know.  I know for certain I have looked at you and have seen 5 different expressions come out before a blink goes by.  You love the color purple, love the Disney princesses, especially “sleeking” beauty.  You are a great story teller and love to make sure your brother is listening, “right Louis?” Speaking of your brother, you know how to push his buttons and seem to get a kick out of doing it.  You enjoy being around adults and will often leave the kids behind to hang out with us by the table.  You enjoy cooking with Papa and love taste testing everything from spinach to stinky cheese, from hummus to chocolate.  You really have quite the palate for a three year old – especially one who used to be the pickiest eater in the house.  You are a pack rat and a bag lady, always carry a full bag of something (I fear what your room will look like as a teenager).  You are a little peanut with a big head of hair that makes us laugh every morning.  You bring many smiles to our house with your twinkling eyes and zest for life.  We love you Mabel.  Happy Birthday.

Loss

It has taken me a while to write this post, in fact this is why I am delayed with all of my posts.  In early June, we found out that I was pregnant and got very excited to have baby #3 join our family in February, 2012.  It was going to be crazy because I would be 39 weeks pregnant on my sister’s wedding, but to be honest, I never really worried about it and knew it would all work out.  We informed our family and Louis and Mabel over the July 4^th weekend.  It had been a rough few weeks for me with tiredness and nausea but I tried to stay positive.  I knew that that all of these things were a part of the process that I was very lucky to be going through.  The children were thrilled and dinner time quickly became a place where we discussed how big baby was (the size of a pea, then a grape, a peach, etc.) and we would all come up with ideas for baby names (Louis wanted to name the baby “Bobby” no matter what and loved to tease me about it).  Mabel would kiss my belly nightly and would constantly be trying to lift up my shirt or dress to “see baby”.  The whole family was thrilled and even became more excited when around 14 weeks my belly started to get rounder and it became more real for everyone.  On Thursday Sept 1, I went in to see my obstetrician for my monthly check up.  I was 16 weeks and 5 days.  I had a few questions but nothing overly concerning.  Unfortunately, when we tried to listen to the heartbeat, there was only silence.  The dr quickly performed an ultrasound, just in case the baby was being stubborn.  On the little screen by my head I could see the baby, but it was obvious, even to me, that the baby’s heart was no longer beating.  I quickly called Brad and he came to be with me immediately. Needless to say it was an awful day. 

When we got home that evening we knew we had to tell Louis and Mabel – which was the part I dreaded the most.  I was having a hard time comprehending it all, how could I expect a 4 and nearly 3 year old to understand.  Mabel just stared at us and Louis broke down sobbing.  He was so sad and it was so hard to that we couldn’t make it all better for him.  After the tears dried for a little while and we ate and gave hugs, it was time for bed.  Louis told me he really wanted a new baby and I told him that we would have to pray.  He responded with, “maybe we didn’t pray enough for this one”.  It broke my heart that he should feel any responsibility for what happened.  I quickly explained that we couldn’t have prayed more or been more excited.  It has been tough few weeks but we have received amazing support from friends, family and coworkers and it has really helped us through.  It reminds how good people are and am grateful to be surrounded by such people. 

Now we are moving forward as best as we can. Louis and Mabel don’t ask as many questions about the baby we lost, but make sure to tell me every Sunday that they prayed for a baby in Church and most nights Louis also prays for a new baby.  For me, I am so lucky to have the children I have, I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to not have them already.  I am hopeful that someday there will be another baby in our family but in the meantime, we continue to be thankful for what we have been given.

Summer

We had an excellent summer.  While we were incredibly busy and we felt like we were never home (I was gone 6 weekends in a row, Brad and the children with for 5 of those), summer never felt rushed or that it was going too fast.  Now, I would love to have a few August days back, but we appreciated them when we had them.  I took a trip to Vegas for a bachelorette party, we celebrated Father’s day in Milwaukee, took a trip to the dells, spent time at the cabin and overall just enjoyed summer.  I think as the children get older, it is so fun to see how they recognize the return of various seasons and what those seasons mean. This summer meant running through the sprinkler, playing with water and just being outside whenever possible.  I feel bad that I didn’t do a better job keeping up with all our activities, but I will let the pictures do the talking.

backyard camping with papa

cooling off on one of the many super hot days

pack us up!